I've been meaning to do this for awhile. Not because I expect anyone to read it but because I need to write. I've been in "justkeepswimming" mode for so long that I rarely have time to sort my thoughts and assess my progress. That is my hope for this blog: to sort through all the mental chaos and clutter and find what is true. That's really what I consider to be an ongoing life's goal, to live the verse "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. (Phil. 4:8, paraphrased)".
I don't know how it is for anyone else but this is an ongoing mental battle for me. I battle discouragement, jealousy and bitterness and these are definitely not on that list. It demands a choice, an obstinate, willful, stubborn choice to turn my thoughts from what is easy, what the world tells me that I should be feeling, to what God's Word tells me to keep my mind on.
I have much to be thankful for: a loving husband, great kids, a roof over my head, a job with benefits. The list could truly go on and on. Why, then, is it so hard to live in a spirit of gratefulness? If I turned off the TV, the computer and chose not to interact with the world in any way, would the discouragement, the envy, the bitterness cease to exist? Do they exist because of those outside influences? Or is it because of what is inside of me? I think I know the answer to that and I don't like it.
This next week is my week "off" between teaching Summer sessions and I intend to do a lot of cleaning and de-cluttering around the house. My prayer is that I can also do some mental cleaning and de-cluttering. Actually, my prayer is that I will submit to His cleaning and de-cluttering in both my heart and mind. As much as I would love a clean and organized house, what would it be like to have a clean, uncluttered mind, focused on whatever is true?
